Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Unarguable Comfortable Waaoh

Reading over the Nigerian hotel reviews on TripAdvisor, it seems to me that Nigerian hotels employ plenty of ballot stuffers. These must be the same guys who work on the online confidence scams because their choice of words on TripAdvisor is every bit as over-the-top and hilarious as the last e-mail you got from the heir to the throne of Bongo-Mbongo-West-Zaire who needs you to help process his gold inheritance.

And mysteriously, all these reviews come from people who only posted a single review. And they list their residence as "Maryland" or "Iowa."

Examples: "Excellent hotel beyond compare with a touch that is unarguably comfortable at all times. Wow!"


‎"Waaoh!!! unbelievably classical and affordable hotel."

Of course, what I was rapidly learning about Nigerian hotels was that they really did start out well. But that hot shower doesn't work anymore, and instead, you get a bucket full of water. The sink works fine if you turn on the tap at the wall. And the ceiling fan hasn't worked in a decade, but the A/C works, buy has only two settings: On and Off. And the lock needs to be jiggled just right, and the wi-fi works great if you walk to the internet cafĂ© and hold your laptop at a 35-degree angle and whisper into the USB-outlet…

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